Monday, 13 October 2014

Day 33- Ice Queen

It's been an odd day. I slept at work last night and really could not settle resulting in about 2 or 3 hours broken sleep. I'm one of those 8 hours sleep kind of people and can just about function on 4 hours if I have to, but not less. So picture me at 7am at work not a very happy bunny.

I happened to be on shift with someone I struggle to work with as she is somewhat bossy and demanding. An interesting situation happened where she told me to do something (Z) and I said I wanted to do X and Y before I did Z, and gave my reasons. Mostly this was because I wasn't sure I needed to do Z at all and doing X and Y first would indicate that. She really wasn't happy with this and kept telling me to do Z. It became quite uncomfortable with her telling me I was being challenging to her, and how I help my temper I will never know, but I held my ground. Turns out my instinct was right and she was wrong about me having to do Z. My colleague is the kind of person that when she says "jump", if you don't say "how high", she keeps on at you until you back down out of boredom or frustration but obviously with a couple of hours sleep and my instinct on an issue which I know more about than she does, I wasn't prepared to say "how high".

After this, she faffed around me a bit and I think she was trying to be nice but I was so irritated that I was the ice queen and she got my frosty cold shoulder. I do a brilliant ice queen impression when I'm seriously not happy!

Due to the lack of sleep and general unpleasantness of confrontation, I was feeling a bit emotional after work and made a bit of an odd decision. The Mister and I have invited his family to stay with us for a week over Christmas. This is a big deal for me as we don't see much of them and I've never cooked for them, and the Mister has never hosted Christmas, it's usually his sister. Obviously this is a ridiculous thing to do as we move house at the beginning of November, have to decorate it, then host Christmas and have it ready for that. No pressure then! I've planned to start force-feeding the Mister roast dinners to perfect my homemade Christmas dinner, which he is more than willing to do. So I decided to cook a roast dinner after work.

Interestingly, I felt loads better afterwards. I think doing something positive with food made me feel more in control again. I'm not sure I approve of myself still using food to control my feelings but I guess cooking for others is more positive than me stuffing my face. It went rather well actually, I made roast potatoes for the first time and homemade stuffing. The Mister is mightily upset because I've now ruined Paxo stuffing for him which he loves, as the homemade stuffing was miles better.

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