No sulking for me today! This morning in a fit of hopeful anticipation I decided to try on the next size down jeans- and I got them on! They're definitely a snug fit but wearable and a lot smarter than my other jeans which need binning frankly. I was full of energy today and even did my make-up and hair nice. I looked pretty damn good today! Not that anyone at work bloody noticed. But that didn't matter too much.
I made an important adult decision while at work today during staff meeting. I work with teenagers in a residential unit and eating meals and doing activities is a part of my job. So far I've managed to fudge the evening meals with using the meal food packs without too much bother. Staff were arranging a day out in a couple of weeks that I'm taking the kids out on and one of the options was a meal out. Now there's no way I can sit at a restaurant and not eat but neither can I take a food pack there so I had a quiet word with the person organising the trip and explained I really did not want to go for a meal but would happily do another activity, which they were happy to agree to. They we discussed the Christmas staff night out and the night out we are having next week. The one next week is a training day where we are all bringing food in for lunch (I'm taking bread) which I'm obviously not going to participate in, but after that they are going out for drinks and I'm not going to go. The Christmas night out will include a 3 course meal, and again, I can't just sit there with a food pack.
I thought about it and then I volunteered to work that night and not attend the Christmas meal. I know if I go, I'll have a planned lapse and I don't want to do that. Last year I lost 2 stone just before December doing Atkins and then the whole of December and January was filled with social occasions that revolve around food and I went completely off track and never recovered from it, hence going on Lighterlife. So I'm not doing that this year. Christmas and all it's food-related nonsense can bugger off. I'm going to enjoy Christmas for a lovely family celebration that doesn't need to rely on food, and I'm not going to put myself in situations that make it harder.
Someone commented to me today that I must have iron will-power. I don't, I really don't. Put me in a restaurant with a 3 course meal and I'd eat it. The best I can do is not be in the situation. I feel really good about speaking to my colleague about the activity, about not going out next week and about volunteering to work during the Christmas night out. I don't feel like I'm depriving myself at all, just making good choices so I can enjoy it all next year after completing what I've set out to do.